Feeling Stuck?
Have you ever been really stuck somewhere?
When I was in my early 20’s my friends and I enjoyed spending time off-roading in the forests of the foothills of Alberta, outside of Calgary. For the most part, we were good drivers and had a solid command of the road and trails with the pickup trucks we were driving. We even prided ourselves on getting into and out of sticky situations.
There was one day that I can clearly remember heading into the bush with friends ready for a fun day of exploring and adventures. It had rained consistently for a few days leading up to our time out there. All the little potholes and ruts were now filled with water and sticky mud. We came down a hill to what appeared to be a shallow muddy puddle, but no problem for the vehicle or the driver to traverse. As we began to pull into the puddle it only took a second to realize that the depth of the puddle was more than we thought, and there were some extra challenges hidden below the surface.
With a sudden drop, followed by a thud and a lurch, it became clear that we had just gotten more than we bargained for. The truck was stuck. High centred on a deep rut, the water was part way up the doors and we were not moving. We rolled down the windows and crawled out, dropping into the puddle. With some assessment and lots of creative effort to get unstuck, we realized that we were going nowhere and needed outside help to move forward.
Many people struggle with feeling stuck: not necessarily sure why or where they are stuck, or how to get unstuck. This is a common sentiment. It can feel as though you are trapped in the same spot, spinning your tires but not really moving forward. For some, the awareness of being stuck can be triggering, confusing, and even debilitating, leading to the stuck place becoming a familiar way of living. Until you recognize the reality of your stuckness and become discontent with staying there, you will be limited in your ability to effectively grow and develop moving forward.
Think about where you are at right now. How would you describe how you are feeling in this season? Do you have any places in your life where you feel like the truck in the story? Do you feel like somewhere along the way the puddle got deep, the wheels lost traction, and the truck got stuck?
The place where you are stuck could also be a threshold.
The threshold is the space between two places. It is often the transitionary stage between where you have been in your journey, and where you are going. If you are wondering how long a threshold season is, I can’t give you a timeline, as much as I can help you to define some action steps to take in the season that you find yourself in. Time, in this case, is not as important as outcome. So, lean in, and get all that you can out of this stage. Here are some action steps to help you maximize your time in the threshold:
Identifying the Threshold - In many ways the time in the threshold is connected to our ability to identify the threshold place. Take the time to figure out why you are there and then what changes you need to make to move through and beyond it.
Do the Work - Our activity and engagement with the threshold is often linked to our time there. You have a role to play. There are things to be learned, taken hold of, and in many cases, things that need to be released to move forward.
Clean House - You may need to reconcile a part of your story of who you are or have been. There may be parts of your story that need to be brought into order so that you can experience healing and reconciliation. Take the time and do this well. Don’t carry anything into the next season that you don’t have to.
Embrace Who You Are - You may need to understand and embrace a part of your truest identity and lean into who you are becoming. As we grow and develop as people, and if applicable, as a follower of Jesus, we discover parts of ourselves that we were unaware of, that have been side-lined, or buried for a time. It may be time to ask some big questions: Who am I really? Where do I find my worth and value? Who does Jesus say I am? Do these things align? What do I need to believe or accept about myself in order to move forward? This is not as much about who you say or think you are, but who God says you are, and has made you to be.
Get Uncomfortable - If you are not already, it is time to get uncomfortable. You may need to establish where you have been too comfortable and shake things up. Become uncomfortable with that place. You may need to break free of your comfort zone in order to step into who you are becoming. The next level in your life is beyond the edge of the comfort zone that you have found yourself in for far too long. Ironically, our comfort zone is usually a place where we feel anything but comfortable in life. But it has become the reality that we understand, control, or feel safe to be in, even if it is limiting in some way. If you want to move forward in your life, you will need to be willing to come to the edge of that limiting comfort zone, face it and then do what it takes to move beyond it into the new place.
The place where you are stuck may feel like it is just the way that your life moving forward will be. This is what you get, based on how your life has gone so far. This does not need to be the case.
You do not need to stay stuck.
Back to the woods, where my friends and I sat looking at that stuck vehicle, trying to strategize how we could extricate it. We realized that we were not going to be able to do it on our own. We were so grateful when a bigger truck with the right tools came down the road and the driver offered to help us out of the mud. He jumped into the mud with us, hooked up our vehicle to his, and with a bit of effort and a committed pull, was able to get us unstuck and back on the road.
If you are feeling stuck right now and not sure how to move forward, we would love to have a conversation with you to help you identify where and why you are stuck and to help you take the steps needed to move forward into greater clarity, freedom, healing and renewal.
