Sticky Words

This is Part 3 of a five-part series of spiritual renewal posts based on the book of James.

Reading: James 3:1–18

Do any of these witty, but childish retorts sound familiar?

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
I’m rubber, you’re glue. Everything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you!
I know you are, but what am I?

Can you recall ever having uttered those phrases in an attempt to have the last word? Perhaps it was in an argument with a sibling, or with the schoolyard bully. These statements aren’t actually true, though. Words have power. They have an impact. And they can be incredibly harmful. Even the words that are thrown at you that you know aren’t true. Words are sticky, and somehow they seem to echo inside our minds, eventually finding their way into our souls. Then, those spiteful phrases or names attach themselves to us, influencing our thoughts, behaviours, and decision-making long past their original reception.

James addresses the power of the tongue through three metaphors. It is like the bit in a horse’s mouth, able to influence something much larger and more powerful. These words carry impact. The tongue is like the rudder of a ship, a small mechanism that can navigate and maneuver even the most treacherous of weather. These words influence. Thirdly, the tongue is like a spark that can set a whole forest on fire, ravaging all that stands in its path. These words are destructive. (Scot McKnight, The Letter of James, 280).

We have all experienced the impact that our words can have on others both for good and bad. Likewise, we have probably all experienced the impact in our own lives of words spoken to us that have built us up or caused us incredible pain. How is it that something as tenuous as the spoken word can have such a deep and lasting impact on our lives? And, how do we disarm the destructive nature of certain types of words so that the impact and influence that they have in our lives is right-sized? 

James offers a solution that neutralizes the sting of salty words that we both receive and cast upon others. In 3:13–18 he suggests that the good life is shown through a combination of humility and wisdom. Since wisdom is something that we lack, in humility we must ask God for it, and he will give it to us (1:5). And in humility, if our words have caused harm to others, we ought to confess our foolishness, repent, and seek the forgiveness of those we have harmed. If we are the ones who have been impacted, influenced, or harmed by someone else’s sticky words, then do not hold onto them. Bring the words before the wisdom of God so that you may forgive the offence, and instead receive the wisdom of heaven that is “first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere” (17). Then you will be “peacemakers who sow in peace [who] reap a harvest of righteousness” (18). That is so much better than a heart full of sticks, stones, and sticky words.